Memories

"Her Private Life" - Korean Drama on Netflix 

"What Alice Forgot" - Novel by Liane Moriarty 

And this poem that plays in pieces in my head about becoming a woman but always the ages before you - 

Our life is made up of yesterdays, stretches of memories that can't necessarily be replayed minute by minute or relived. Within these sometimes distant memories are the makings of who we are today, perhaps not defined by but certainly defining moments, whether they were marked by laughter or tear stained and broken, they are yours and it's collection is yours alone. A masterpiece that can only be claimed by one person. Unique. 

That story doesn't dictate our future and it cannot dictate our next step in life. It is not a blank slate but we can control the next brush stroke. Like a large mural on museum walls, see it for all it is and still call it beautiful. May we find inspiration to keep painting. May we share it with the ones who love us most and have them say with equal enthusiasm, "it is beautiful." 

I don't mean to be elusive, but I am not sure I can be direct about the power of memories. What do I wish to say here: how do people hold on to the awful memories of their past, relive it in such a way that holds them back from living now, no story is not good enough, how do our memories haunt us, how are memories tucked so far away that we can't remember them, how do we create memories and stay present to feel the gentle love of our child smiling back at us, how do we feel the presence of our father's hands as he carried us in his arms or the whisper of a mother's song rocking us to sleep, or the screaming matches of days already gone, are they all so powerful because they are fleeting or because they are permanent. 

Etched within the generations and time as far back as it will go, wind the clock, feel the swift progression and handle the weight of a thousand years, on your shoulders? a torch to be carried to light the path? or doors to slam so that we can start anew? I don't know what it is, but it is powerful and to be known and to be loved, that is all I hope for for every man, woman, and child out there. May the memories you create today or one day soon make you smile.