counting victories

My patients struggle. I struggle. I don't have diabetes. I don't have a hurt back (at least not anywhere close to what my patients experience). I don't have some autoimmune disease. I am not obese.

But sometimes I eat things and know that I'm eating it because it makes me feel good now but I may regret it later. I eat it out of spite for what I'm experiencing inside of me. I want to stuff my face and my gut so full of processed chemicals or sweet moist chocolate something or rather. I want to drive through McDonald's or Jack in the box and chase away tears and find memories of my past that maybe brought happiness.

So, that struggle sucks. Rather than somehow face some nebulous emotional problem that has no immediate answers, I want to inhale food. So much so that I guess it makes it harder to find the answers and then maybe we hate ourselves a little. Maybe we ask of ourselves to be better. We find a way. We know what works. We try again, we feel good but that goodness is tainted with the next day when we don't do good. We label. We look at labels.

And we say, this isn't enough. But FRIENDS, IT IS enough. The process of finding victories and having them IS ENOUGH. Don't let yourselves be defeated. Is that our problem? We defeat ourselves before we have even tried? COUNT THOSE VICTORIES. CELEBRATE THOSE VICTORIES. WHEN YOU FALL, dust it off, get back on the horse and do it again and Smile BECAUSE you have found it - you are victorious and made to be victorious.

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