before the cool done run out?
up again. i know i just wrote earlier today, but this is the first time i've been up at 1:25am in awhile...
picking up where I left off, where I often leave off. I came downstairs to write and yet I found myself spending an easy 2 hours distracted with an online search for escape/with lofty plans and little to show for it. I could have probably written a novel by now. I love this. Love the feeling of letters into words beneath my fingers like I have something valuable to say like what I say may never have been said before but it all has. what makes up a great mind? is it simply the perfect storm of place/time that allows minds that wander to come to fruition? I can't imagine any mind being less than only limited by our own doing and not allowed the breath of life that is a God given to all who accept it.
so, my life today: 22 days till Christmas 2019, some near 36 years has passed and I'm sitting between a 3 foot Christmas tree that we scored for free 5.5 years ago at someone's garage sale in Magnolia, Wa and a gas fireplace that is so incredibly hot because I haven't wanted to move the 2 feet to turn it down. the lights on the tree are lit and reflecting off an only slightly smaller Pikachu balloon that was purchased with utmost excitement for my son's birthday. I am not sure who was more excited about the balloon. probably me.
outside my window is an 180 degree view of the inlet that some miles down connects with the Pacific Ocean! I am blessed by these peaceful surroundings and all I want is to be near my other family. The family I've spent years not knowing I had - not intentionally understanding the value of - do I really know it now, what can I do to make it clear? to close the chasm that separates ideal from current situation?
How does one begin to move in the desired direction if there is lack of clarity about the end goal. So what is it - what is my true and deepest desires placed there even before I knew it? I suppose for now I'll just try to keep writing and perhaps one day it will come. or better yet, find the silence to hear what is so obvious to everyone but the one traveling.
Hmmm...in it all, gratefulness and gladness of heart. yes if I can find stillness of spirit if only to be moved again and then to be reminded to be still - oh like a night sky full of falling stars - showered by beautiful grace/mercy to be in the presence of all that you love even before you knew what love was. surely your core would be shaken because a peace like that - doesn't just sit idly, it enraptures your soul - it is the purity we all seek.
for whoever finds this, journey along? no better yet, find your journey and live it.
picking up where I left off, where I often leave off. I came downstairs to write and yet I found myself spending an easy 2 hours distracted with an online search for escape/with lofty plans and little to show for it. I could have probably written a novel by now. I love this. Love the feeling of letters into words beneath my fingers like I have something valuable to say like what I say may never have been said before but it all has. what makes up a great mind? is it simply the perfect storm of place/time that allows minds that wander to come to fruition? I can't imagine any mind being less than only limited by our own doing and not allowed the breath of life that is a God given to all who accept it.
so, my life today: 22 days till Christmas 2019, some near 36 years has passed and I'm sitting between a 3 foot Christmas tree that we scored for free 5.5 years ago at someone's garage sale in Magnolia, Wa and a gas fireplace that is so incredibly hot because I haven't wanted to move the 2 feet to turn it down. the lights on the tree are lit and reflecting off an only slightly smaller Pikachu balloon that was purchased with utmost excitement for my son's birthday. I am not sure who was more excited about the balloon. probably me.
outside my window is an 180 degree view of the inlet that some miles down connects with the Pacific Ocean! I am blessed by these peaceful surroundings and all I want is to be near my other family. The family I've spent years not knowing I had - not intentionally understanding the value of - do I really know it now, what can I do to make it clear? to close the chasm that separates ideal from current situation?
How does one begin to move in the desired direction if there is lack of clarity about the end goal. So what is it - what is my true and deepest desires placed there even before I knew it? I suppose for now I'll just try to keep writing and perhaps one day it will come. or better yet, find the silence to hear what is so obvious to everyone but the one traveling.
Hmmm...in it all, gratefulness and gladness of heart. yes if I can find stillness of spirit if only to be moved again and then to be reminded to be still - oh like a night sky full of falling stars - showered by beautiful grace/mercy to be in the presence of all that you love even before you knew what love was. surely your core would be shaken because a peace like that - doesn't just sit idly, it enraptures your soul - it is the purity we all seek.
for whoever finds this, journey along? no better yet, find your journey and live it.
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